Blind Faith

I was reminded of the trial of Joe Cates after a friend shared with me this article, which is a response to this article. If you’re not interested in reading about sexual predators in the yoga community, I don’t blame you.

TL;DR

A woman wrote of her experience with a “guru” type yogi elder detailing her experience with his sexual impropriety with her in a teacher-student relationship. The response to her essay is written by a woman who describes the man as “the kindest, gentlest, (messiest), most radical and most loving and receptive person I’ll ever know.” While it’s true that may be her experience, it does not mean this man is not a sexual predator.

It does not mean the author of the original essay is lying about her experience.

Joe Wayne Cates was the Youth Director of the church where I grew up. Flash forward post college, long after I’d stopped going to church. It was 2003, I had recently moved back to Dallas. A year prior, Joe was found on a country road north of my hometown with a self inflicted gunshot wound to his head. (He used a .22, so after a 6-hour surgery, he survived. Surprisingly, he wasn’t much different considering he destroyed tissue in his brain. If you didn’t know him you probably wouldn’t even notice the disfiguration to his skull from the entry and exit wound.)

He shot himself because the police were looking for him. He was soon charged with 3 counts of indecency with a child. All of the victims were male. Most everyone was shocked (turned out, there were people who knew of accusations years before), how could this be? He was such a great man, he had done so much for the youth in the community, even outside our church.

So I attended the trial because I wanted to know the truth. The prosecutor made her case by educating the jury on how sexual predators, specifically pedophiles, operate. Joe was a typical pedophile. He was well respected, admired, and loved. He surrounded himself in every aspect of his personal and professional life with kids. In retrospect, he favored relationships with the boys in the youth group. He was awarded Teacher of the Year. He worked at a school for kids with behavioral problems (READ: VULNERABLE). In a way, she not only made her case, but also made fools of the people who blindly supported him. People who said, he’s a great man, this can’t be true. I trusted him with my children, my boys. People who refused to understand that even though he had done wonderful things for many people, he in fact hurt many people, children no less. One of the most remarkable insights from the trial was that when he attempted to prey on people who had supportive families, he failed. They told their parents, and their parents believed them.

One of my friends from the church recounted on the witness stand an experience he had where Joe had tried to touch him in a gym full of people camping out on a church trip. Brazen, in the middle of the gymnasium surrounded by people, yet isolated in the center of the basketball court. My friend kept inching away from him. I can’t remember how he finally got away, but he told his parents. His parents told the church leadership, and shortly thereafter left the church. (Since I’m writing from Utah, I will point out that “leaving the church” is no big deal, and our church was very middle of the road. Basically, they stopped going and most people didn’t notice.)

Another witness testified how Joe had molested him at school. He didn’t tell his parents because when as a first grader he was raped by his uncle, he did tell his parents. His dad responded by beating the shit out of him. Of course he remained silent when this authority figure, pillar of the community who was so well loved, harmed him.

The prosecutor pretty much nailed her case by cross examining his character witnesses. They had no idea they were actually helping her prove his guilt. They believed him, blindly. He was a wonderful person who had helped so many. Actually, he is a fucking monster. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. A predator seeking vulnerable children and violating them.

After the week long trial ended I went to an all night party. When I arrived home in the morning, my mother told me the Columbia space shuttle had exploded. I hadn’t noticed even though it had left debris all over North Texas and turned windows into vibrating jell-o. I totally melted down. It was just too much for my emotionally drained being. So I went to a therapist. I was hoping to find out more about sexual predators and understand this experience I had just had. Sitting in a room of people who heard all the same things I heard, but still believed he couldn’t be guilty was surreal. His guilt was clear as day.

At the time, there wasn’t much writing on sexual predators. The therapist recommended the book Blind Faith by Joe McGinniss. Something similar had happened in Toms River, NJ. Nobody could believe that man was behind his wife’s murder, it divided the town and the family.

My point in sharing this story is, that while a person can appear to be wonderful and altruistic, the most kind person you ever met, it does not mean that person has not committed atrocious acts. (It also doesn’t mean that all wonderful people also commit atrocious acts.) When the defense of the person who is accused of wrong doing is that he is “the kindest, gentlest, (messiest), most radical and most loving and receptive person I’ll ever know.”, RED FLAG. It’s difficult to acknowledge that people we love, care about, and have had a positive experience with could do such harm to another being, but it doesn’t mean it is untrue.